I think the greatest crime of the last two centuries has been the countless millions of children who’ve been brought into this world not taught to know their purpose in this life. 

What is your life purpose or mission?  What are the gifts you have to share with the world?  Native Americans talk about the medicine that each individual uniquely has to offer.  What is your medicine?

Mine?  “I co-create a world living in truth, without despair, by fiercely loving myself and all beings.”  Let’s break that down piece by piece. 

“I co-create.”   One of my shadows is the traditional male “go it alone” shadow, “I can do it all myself.”   I call that the male disease.  Going it alone is a recipe for burnout and failure.  It’s important for me to remember that.  God knows I’ve burned out and failed enough!

It’s important too to note that a mission should be bigger than what any one man can reasonably accomplish in his own lifetime.  This is not a time for false modesty, to think small.   This is a time to think big, real big.  Many lifetimes big.  Seven generations big.  Think the cathedrals of Europe.  Many men worked their entire lives on one small part of the structure and died never seeing it complete.  Pride in the workmanship and holding the vision are what’s essential.

“A world living in truth.”  How sweet would that be?  What do I do to make it happen?  Certainly my films, even the fiction ones, seek the truth about the human condition and social realities.  But it’s not just about what I do, it’s who I am too.   I practice speaking truth in my daily life, whether in personal or professional situations.

“Without despair.”  It’s important to keep despair in front of me at all times.  That’s one of my great shadows.  It’s all too easy for me to throw up my hands and say “what’s the use?  It’s all going to shit anyway.”  Or “I’ll never succeed.”  For this reason I drastically limit the amount of news I take in.  How people can read/hear/watch the news every day and not want to kill themselves or someone else is beyond me.

Defining myself solely as a filmmaker is also a one way ticket to hell.  Defining myself only in what I do, rather than in who I am, moment to moment.  I have to consciously limit the directions my mind goes when I work:  “How much money must I raise to make this next film?”  It’s never enough.  But if I wring my hands in despair rather than get busy raising money that’s on me.  “Why doesn’t X return my phone calls?”  People promise all kinds of things and fulfill very few.  But if I obsess about how they can possibly be so far out of integrity rather than cut my losses and move on that’s on me.  “Look at X, Y, and Z colleagues… they’re receiving far more funding than I, their film is screening in far better venues, they’re going to much nicer festivals, they’re getting better reviews…”  There are plenty of filmmakers who receive far more support for their work than I.  But if I focus on that and don’t marshal the tremendous resources I do have that’s on me.  It’s all about resisting the lure of being the victim and challenging myself to become the man I’ve always wanted to be.

“By fiercely…”  Why “fiercely?”  Another of my shadows is being the nice guy, doing  whatever it takes to get someone to like me.  Being the “people pleaser.”  So “fierce” is a good reminder to me that sometimes it’s necessary to not be liked.  Being liked by the people I am with is often not a priority relative to what’s really important.  To crank up the intensity, the volume, the presence, to do what’s right, what’s  necessary to serve the greater good.  It requires fierceness to speak up for what’s right in a world comfortable with lies and illusion.  Holding firm boundaries requires fierceness.   So does confronting self-righteous authorities.  So does protecting loved ones from danger.

The word “fierce” also serves to remind me that life is not for the faint of heart.  It’s hard.  I’m not reductively Darwinian so I don’t believe “only the strong survive.”  But the pain, the disappointments, the losses, the fears of life can be immense.  It’s essential to develop some emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual resilience, some fierceness of attitude and outlook to weather the storms. 

“Loving myself and all beings.”  Given much of the above, you might already have guessed that “loving myself” is the greater challenge here.  My guess is it’s difficult for most Westerners.  (Unlike many (most?) Asians for whom it’s almost unimaginable that a child would not be absolutely treasured, honored and welcomed into this world, building a healthy foundation of self-esteem.)  Though it cannot be unlearned, fortunately the habits of poor self-esteem can be mitigated against.  Meditation, regular exercise, men’s groups, positive affirmations, mirror work are some of the tools that have proven helpful for me.   I’ve also learned to recognize what I need when I need it.  So when I feel dumped on by someone, or at my wit’s end with a frustrating situation, I can reach out and ask my wife or a friend for a hug and some encouraging words.

But “loving all beings” is no small challenge either.  There is a long list of people in government and a longer list of those in business who really challenge me.  How do we love people that threaten us with their greed, their self-absorption, their cruelty, their ignorance, their indifference?  The first step is to recognize that we don’t have to like them.  Liking and loving are entirely different matters.   Secondly, any person’s cruelties can be traced to their ignorance.  They simply haven’t been taught any better.  At a dharma, or Buddhist level, they haven’t been taught how absolutely interconnected we all are.  Lastly, everyone suffers, even torturers, billionaire bankers, war-loving generals, presidents and politicians.   While still adamantly opposing their destructive practices and policies, our challenge is to make room in our hearts for their own suffering. 

The way I was raised made it difficult for me to accept that any rich person could possibly ever suffer.  Working with rich people over the years has taught me otherwise.  Not to minimize the fear that faces the 40+ million Americans who won’t eat three meals today, or the 50+ million who have no regular, sufficient medical care, but there are an awful lot of wealthy people steeped in nothing but fear over how they’re going to protect their wealth in our declining economy.   Not to mention any number of myriad other problems.  Christina Onassis’s suicide at 24 was a real eye opener to me in this regard.

I co-create a world living in truth, without despair, by fiercely loving myself and all beings.  And you?  What’s your mission?

(Editor's note: This article focuses on men and boys.  But the film RITES OF PASSAGE: MENTORING THE FUTURE, now in production, will focus on both genders, in equal measure.)

Some of the great heroes in our world today are the men who are mentoring and initiating teen boys. 

This is no small challenge, given that most adult men living today were not themselves initiated or mentored.  They have no idea what to do, how to do it, or why it’s essential.

The chain of generativity going back at least 50,000 years in the lives of Homo Sapiens is now broken.  The wisdom passed from individual to individual, from generation to generation, has largely been lost.  In indigenous cultures across the world it used to be that young men were initiated into adulthood by the elders as a matter of course.  In fact, most indigenous cultures don’t even recognize what we in the West call “adolescence.”  You’re either a child or you’re a man.  There’s no in-between.  The rite of passage, universally applied, is designed as a mechanism to usher all children across that threshold into adulthood. 

This was largely true even in Western society until the Industrial Age.  Boys raised on farms or learning crafts were apprenticed by their fathers and other men.  While they were taught practical and professional skills they were also taught by men what it is to be a man, what civilized behavior is – the rights and responsibilities of adulthood.   Once men started moving off their farms and out of their shops and studios to work in factories that ancient system broke down.  Couple that with the destruction of indigenous cultures across the planet by colonialism and imperialism and there now remain few organic links through the chain of time to the practices and wisdom of the past.

The byproducts are everywhere to behold.  By not initiating and mentoring our young people we are paying a steep economic and social price: teenage pregnancy, school dropouts, drug and alcohol use, depression, ADD, ADHD, youth crime and violence… some estimate the cost to U.S. society at $1 trillion a year.  The irony is that doing these “dysfunctional” things – getting pregnant, testing limits with alcohol or drugs, committing crimes, joining gangs, dropping out of school… young people, especially boys, are only asking, crying out really, for initiation.  

Initiation is a biological, cellular level need.  It accounts for most of where the pushback against parents and other authority figures comes from.  Teens need to individuate.  They push back to learn the limits of their own bodies, the reach of their critical judgment, their connection to nature and to spirit or god.  This is how they learn who they are, what is unique about them.  It’s also how they become validated.  To be initiated is a fulfillment of their genetic inheritance – to be brought into the community of adults, to take their seat at the village table, to be honored, accepted and treated as equals.  

Both men and women need initiation and mentorship.  But I believe men need it  more.  Especially today.   [Generalizing alert!  I will now be generalizing about men and women.  Please note that I am in no way saying all men or all women are like this.  Or that certain traits are purely male and others purely female.  It's important to recognize that traits generalized as "male" and "female" are part of a continuum; they manifest themselves to varying degrees in each unique individual. And if these distinctions don’t fit at all for you, dear reader, great.] 

It’s really important that men have a sense of mission or purpose in life.  I have written about this subject recently.  They have a built-in desire to want to serve someone or something, to know that their life has meaning and is of positive purpose.   There’s also a longing for them to feel part of a team or group, to work together to realize a common purpose.  A man’s gaze tends to be outward, toward making an impact, toward how he can effect change in the world.  This is a large part of how a man gauges his own power, by measuring his ability to effect change.   Obviously this drive can take very positive and very negative forms.  But this drive is much in the nature of men.  

Very few people understand this anymore.  Many men, in their own bitterness, depression, drug, alcohol, sex, work, food, and TV addictions, have given up on themselves.  At some deep unconscious level they know what they’re missing in life, how they themselves were never taught by other men how to be a man, how to reach for and find fulfillment in life, how to understand and utilize emotions effectively, what spiritual connection and contentment feels like, where meaning is to be found.  No one was there for them so why should they be there for someone else? 

This refusal finds expression in all sorts of directives older men often give to younger men: “Don’t follow your dream!” “Settle for less!” “Happiness is not important.”  “Take the money!” “Grow up; resign yourself to reality.” “Get a real job.” “Don’t take risks!”  The truth is many older men are simply threatened by the exuberance, vitality, dreams, love, innocence, and happiness of younger men because it reminds them of what they’ve lost, how they’ve settled for so much less.  Those older men still have a little boy in them who knows and remembers but those little boys are usually buried alive under mountains of passion-killing directives. 

Which reminds us that the flow of gifts in a properly functioning culture is not just from the eldest to the youngest.  The flow goes both ways.  The healthy functioning of adults is dependent on youthful energy, ideas, and input.  “Although, ‘it takes a whole village to raise a child;’ it takes the struggles of youth to raise a whole village."  “If the deep conflicts of youth are ignored and left unresolved, the new adults will be unable to solve deep conflicts in the culture.  If the adults feel they were not nourished, their elders will be ignored, and forgotten.”  -- Michael Meade.  So if there is no generativity there is no nourishing of life in both directions – for either the younger or the older.  And on and on it goes.

The men who have not buried their little boys, who still receive nurturing from their elders, who have kept the flame of innocence, passion, and love alive in the face of enormous challenges – not least of which is a dominant culture that stultifies humanity, demanding that all answers be found solely in consumerism – those men are heroes.  Yes, just being alive, truly alive to a world of possibility and adventure, and yes, to suffering and sorrow too, in a modern world that increasingly resembles THE MATRIX, that makes you a hero. 

But say you’re doing more than that.  Say you’re teaching yourself and others about what you missed out on, seeking and finding ways to initiate yourself, getting and giving mentorship, truly coming to be all you can be.  That’s even more impressive.

Let’s say you’re doing still more.  Let’s say you’re reaching down a generation or two and extending your hand to a younger man, to a group or groups of younger men.  Then you’re a Hero’s Hero.

There aren’t many.  But fortunately, there are some.  I'll list here shortly some of the amazing men and women doing heroic work today to bring back initiation and mentorship in our time.  I unhumbly include myself in this list because I’m now working on a film highlighting their heroic work, presently called Rites of Passage: Mentoring the Future.

Talking about the ManKind Project, rites of passage, teen boys, and mature masculinity.

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/spiritofthings/boys-to-men/3713174

Our mission: Insuring that every child on the planet receives a rite of passage and mentorship into adulthood.

I want to share our recent victory with you.

Last weekend we had 26 of the leading lights of Teen Rites of Passage work gather in Oakland to share common challenges and victories, and to probe for ways forward as a collaborative community. Many of the hugely varied modalities of ROP practice were represented, from indigenous traditions 1000s of years old to the latest innovations in public school programs. It was a rich weekend of sharing, a deep exchange of bold visions from a collective 500+ years of experience, a sustained opening of fearless hearts. The list of our illustrious attendees is below. If you're interested, let me know and I'll send you the entire meeting agenda, co-created by many, reflecting the depth, breadth, and soulful wonder of this work. 

Thank you for supporting me so I can support these soul warriors.

Attendees (not necessarily in picture)

1. Craig McClaine, Boys to Men, San Diego

2. Rick Phillips, Community Matters, Santa Rosa, CA

3. Sohrab Nabatian, Kalliopeia Foundation, San Francisco, CA

4. Kate Shela, Dolphin Connection, UK and LA

5. Arne Rubinstein, Australia Rites of Passage Institute

6. Mark Schillinger, Young Men’s Ultimate Weekend, San Rafael, CA

7. Jim Kooler, Challenge Days, Be the Change, Lifeplan Institute, Marin, CA

8. Chike Nwoffiah, Orike Theater, Mountain View, CA

9. Gigi Coyle, School of Lost Borders, Big Pine, CA

10. Jonny Nadleman, LA based school ROP co-creator, facilitator, LA, CA

11. Craig Glass, Peregrine Ministries/Passage to Manhood, Colorado Springs, CO

12. Jason Geoffrion, Men’s Leadership Alliance, Boulder, CO

13. Rabbi Goldie Milgram, Reform Bar/Bat Mitzvah practice, Philadelphia, PA.

14. Albino Garcia, La Plazita Institute, Albuquerque, NM

15. Joshua Gorman, Generation Waking Up, San Francisco, CA

16. Tony LoRe, Youth Mentoring Connection, LA, CA

17. Juliana Wells, Youth Mentoring Connection, LA, CA

18. Rich Robinson, MFT, Counseling families, teenagers, and adults, Berkeley, CA

19. Namonyah Soipan, West Indian/African/European ROP specialist, Oakland, CA

20. Darcy Ottey, formerly of Rites of Passage Journeys, Seattle

21. Mayra Zaragoza, Young Warriors, Tia Chucha, LA

22. Bret Stephenson, author of From Boys to Men: Spiritual Rites of Passage in an Indulgent Age

23. Jared Seide, Ojai Foundation, Council in Schools Initiative

24. Judy Piazza, Ojai Foundation, Land Institute

25. Sharon BearComesOut, Buffalo Visions Healing Center, Lame Deer School, Northern Cheyenne Reservation, Montana.

26. John McCluskey, PassageWorks, Jeffco Open School, Boulder, CO.

Support Staff: Donna Lee, Gerald Charles, Ajakari Mark Angelo, Ashanti Branch, Aries Jordan, Ben M.H., Marlene Shigekawa.

Just wanted to share a brief life summary with you for my Mom who died 9 days ago.  I was holding her hand and looking into her eyes as she passed.  My brother and sister were there with her too.  Her painless and rapid passing were a gift to all of us - modeling a happy transition, in gratitude for the fullness of her life, at peace with everything.

By sharing her obituary with you, I celebrate her life. 

Miriam Marx, 87, passed at 4:45 pm on Friday, March 7 at the Highlands at Brighton Hospice in Rochester, NY, surrounded by her loving family. 

With the soul of an artist who always treasured learning, Miriam was many things throughout her life: published poet, ministerial candidate, political activist, scholar, feminist and women’s community builder… a lover of song, art, and life in all its forms. 

Miriam was born in 1926 in Philadelphia, PA, the child of Russian immigrant garment workers, and was raised during the Depression.  She went to work immediately following high school and was married in 1945 to Werner Marx, a German-Jewish refugee.

She arrived in Champaign-Urbana, IL in 1959 when her husband took a job at the University of Illinois as a Professor of German.  Following his sudden death in Feb. 1965, she earned her BA and then MA in Comparative Literature, all while raising three children on her own. She earned her livelihood as a U of I teaching assistant and secretary.

Fulfilling her husband's and her own wishes she took her children to Freiburg, Germany for a year of travel and study in 1970-1971.  In 1972, she joined the Urbana Unitarian Church.  Its offshoot the Red Herring Press published her poetry chapbook Armor and Ashes in 1982.  She moved to Beijing, China in 1985 and served for two years as a foreign language instructor. 

Ever thirsting for meaning and fulfillment in life, in 1991 she began study to become a U-U Minister, culminating in her graduation in 1997 at the age of 70 with a Masters of Divinity.  After nearly 50 years in the Champaign-Urbana, IL area she moved to Rochester, NY in Dec. 2010 to be near family.

She is survived by her children Ellen, Frederick, and Larry, daughters-in-law Deb Rosen and Tracy Seeley, son-in-law Bill Sherman, and granddaughters Emma, Natalie, and Naomi. 

Memorial services will be held 1 pm, Sunday, April 13 at Quaker Friends Meeting House, 1904 East Main Street, Urbana, IL. 

I feel compelled to share with you what Harold Ramis meant to me.  He was such a wonderful human being and such an inspiration to me I feel that to do anything less would dishonor his memory.  For those of you still unfamiliar with his life and work I commend you to this article.

People everywhere know his genius from the films he made. I was privileged to know the man - always generous, compassionate, supportive, inclusive, humble, wise... He was my mentor and friend - a pillar of strength and integrity, his voice a beacon for how to face a world of deceit and lies and hurt.  The sadness I feel at his passing is immense.

I first met Harold in his office in a northern Chicago suburb in the summer of 2003.  We were introduced by a friend of mine – an attorney who seems to know everyone in Chicago.  We had such a pleasant conversation that only afterwards did I realize how strange it was – Harold spent well over an hour chatting with my wife and me, simply getting to know us.  It’s hard to imagine many Hollywood celebrities spending that same kind of time making leisurely inquiries, serving tea and cookies, and being equally interested in my wife and her work as a writer and English professor as in mine. 

I don’t remember now whether it was that first conversation when I asked him to mentor me.  Given my usual chutzpah it’s entirely possible.  But most likely it was a year or two later.  I do remember his answer though.  Not a yes or a no, more “let’s just wait and see how things go.”  I think Harold preferred to leave things like that unsaid.  But the truth is from that first meeting forward he did whatever he could to make himself available to me and to be of service in whatever ways he could.  That willingness to benefit others, to put oneself at the service of another’s development and well-being is a fundamental pillar of mentorship.

Another pillar of mentorship is simply showing up - spending the time, making yourself available.  Not long after we met, I did a presentation for the Chicago branch of the Young Presidents Association on the importance of pro-social rites of passage for youth.  Harold came to the event in a private home in the same wealthy, north side Chicago suburb where he lived.  He publicly thanked me for coming to his community to bring the message, implicitly recognizing that this wasn’t an issue just for “them” – “at risk youth,” the low income folks of color in the city – but for white suburbanites too.  He had the courage to say, however sweetly, “Wake up folks.  It’s our kids too!” 

Harold demonstrated another fundamental principle of mentorship - open your contacts and integrate mentees into your professional network.  He went out of his way to introduce me to two of his old friends from college – George Zimmer, founder of Men’s Wearhouse, and Ben Zaricor, founder of the Good Earth Tea Company.  In time, both men came to be supporters of my work. 

Harold told me, as he’s publicly told many, he considered himself “Buddhish.”  Something like, but not quite a Jewish-Buddhist.  “Buddhish”… a term far superior to the more commonly used “Jew-Bu” or “Bu-Jew.”  No doubt because of the humor brought by the “ish” and its colloquial meaning from Jewish culture as “sort of” or “approximately.”  The truth is that many of his family members are practicing Buddhists and that Harold himself was deeply impacted by Buddhist thought.  I think he was one of those rare minds who could be introduced to the main principles of Buddhism and subsequently spend an entire lifetime observing them without, to my knowledge, ever formally practicing.  The man lived the Eight Fold Path: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration.  He embodied the principles that so many of my teachers emphasize: “Don’t talk about Buddhism.  Be a Buddha.”  Or, as the Dalai Lama has put it: “The world doesn’t need more Buddhists.  What the world needs is kindness.”  Harold embodied kindness. 

And generosity.  When he turned out with his wife at a Chicago fundraiser to support my Buddhist film Journey from Zanskar it wasn’t enough for him to show up and be the celebrity co-host – to pose for pictures and sign autographs.  He circulated and made sure everyone had a chance to say hello.  He and his wife donated their own money too. 

The connection he had to my Boys to Men? film and its sequel, now in production, called Rites Of Passage: Mentoring The Future, was even more personal.  He had sat in regular men’s circles in LA in the 80s and 90s.  He knew first-hand there was something that men needed from each other in order to become the men they always wanted to be.  He also implicitly understood the importance of pro-social rites of passage for youth to help them transition into young adulthood.  He was proud of the fact that both his sons had been Bar Mitzvah’d.    

Harold served for four years as an advisor and two years formally on my Warrior Films Board.  Even with his very full schedule he attended meetings regularly and offered everything he could.  I had the bad sense to schedule our yearly in person meetings in Chicago in December. Harold always drove downtown without complaint - during rush hour in the worst conceivable weather - to attend our dinner-time meetings.  Every year he offered to pay the bill and I always refused.  Finally, he took to surreptitiously paying the bill in advance.

One of his great gifts was turning public events into seemingly personal encounters.  He turned up yearly at a fundraiser in San Francisco to support the Zen Hospice Center.  The year I went, what he said from the dais magically seemed to address all the personal questions I had for him. His warmth and self-effacing openness never betrayed the fact that he must have made dozens of presentations at similar events.  He was so generous with his time and his self-effacing humor. 

One tremendous gift I received from him was his mentorship regarding my career.  I’ve long been troubled by wounds dating back to the making of Hoop Dreams. The pain recurs regularly, even to this day. Talk about Groundhog Day!  Sometimes I do feel stuck waking to the same circumstances in an endless loop.  Fortunately, not every day.  Harold helped me sort through a workable strategy toward reconciliation and acceptance.

Perhaps the greatest gift I received from him was when he sent me a script of his based on his personal life after college.  He’d worked on it off and on for many years.  It was a sweet story about a young man seeking to find himself - working through family and relationship issues - while working in a hospital mental ward.  I told him there was potential there – a small scale, coming of age drama – but it still needed a lot of work.  We talked about the difficulties of making effective drama when you’re still too identified with the primary character and his experiences.  A challenge I know from years of trying to make a script based on my family’s life reach its full potential.

But the gift was that he saw fit to send me the script and solicit my opinion.  Mentors understand that seeking a mentee’s honest feedback is one of the greatest ways they can honor them.  It’s a way of blessing them into a recognition and acceptance of their own greatness.  It’s a way of acknowledging them as a peer.  Harold did this time and time again for me.

He always welcomed me to visit him on set.  I visited the set for Ice Harvest north of Chicago and for Year One in the desert sands of New Mexico.  Like a documentary filmmaker, I think he was partially interested to see what might emerge from the chemistry of personalities interacting.  He introduced me to John Cusack and Randy Quaid from the former film and Jack Black and Michael Cera from the latter.  I also think that inviting friends to his sets were his way of normalizing the extraordinary process of filmmaking, of humanizing it. Over the years I too have sought ways to turn the some times brutalizing process of filmmaking into its own voyage of discovery, not sacrificing even the film’s smallest means to the film’s greater end.  Though we never discussed it I sensed that Harold shared this aim.  

He embodied another fundamental principle of mentorship – the mentor must be fed alongside the mentee.  The relationship has to be reciprocal.  Whether it was my comments on his script, my enthusiastic appreciation for his films, the satisfaction he took in my films, or the simple joy he got out of being helpful to me, I do believe our relationship fed him in some small way.

I think Harold sensed how disappointed I was in myself for not being a Hollywood success. When he was finishing Year One my wife and I visited him on the Sony lot.  He bought us lunch, brought us to the editing suite to show us some scenes he was working on, and then brought us to the mixing soundstage where they were adding and polishing sound effects. I believe he wanted me to feel comfortable and at home – to make me feel like I belonged.  For that gift alone I can weep with gratitude even now.

That was the last time I saw him.  He said that he was going to take some time off.  I didn’t know then that he already knew about his illness and that he’d spend the next four years fighting it.  

His example was the closest I've come in my life - in a literal, physical proximity sense - to a single human being who seemed the complete realization of both his artistic goals and his personal behavior.  He was successful both in what he did and who he was.  Both the artist and the man were all they could be.  A true Laughing Buddha.  I miss him already and the grief that I feel is real.  But the gratitude for having had him in my life as a mentor and friend is real too and is boundless.

I also feel complete, with no regrets.  The last few years, as I knew he was sick and dying, I emailed him occasionally when I thought of him – to thank him for all he did for me, to acknowledge what a profound impact he’d made, and to bless him on his own journey.  Which brings me to an essential lesson for the mentee – remember the teacher!

Now with him gone, I’ve already started asking myself, “What would Harold do?”  I wish I could channel him to help solve a thorny problem I’m facing right now.  Or maybe it is his voice I can hear telling me not to react.  “Let it be.”  Maybe.  All I know is when I grow up, I want to be like Harold.

    From Kissed by a Fox, Priscilla Stuckey:

Malidoma wrote (from The Healing Wisdom of Africa; paraphrased by Priscilla Stuckey):  Rites of initiation in nature were especially important, for nature is the source of knowing; to know your own destiny, your gifts and purpose in life, you must first grapple with nature’s mysteries, and only by forging your own relationship with nature can you remember why you are here and develop the power to release your gifts into the world. (pg. 47)

 Sobonfu and Malidoma in a training that Priscilla Stuckey attended, said: 

“We all forget our purpose, for we go through the rigors of being born, then living as infants and toddlers.  As we grow we need to discover our gifts anew.  The community exists to help individuals remember their purpose.”  (Priscilla paraphrasing) A community pays special attention to each individual, nourishing each one with the quality of attention that helps each bring forth her deepest gifts … because the adults know that every child will make a difference – not in an abstract way, but for them, for the world they will make together as the child grows.  “This person brings me-us a priceless gift.”  (pg. 108-09)

 An Andean native:  “Conversation is thus an attitude, a mode of being in unison with life, a knowing how to listen and knowing how to say things at the appropriate moment.”  (pg. 134)

 John Muir:  “On no subject are our ideas more warped and pitiable than on death.  Instead of the sympathy, the friendly union, of life and death so apparent in nature, we are taught that death is an accident, a deplorable punishment for the oldest sin, the arch-enemy of life.”  (pg. 243)

Australian aboriginal Yarralin man, Pulkara:  The land had been made “wild” not by letting it be but by trampling it, not by the absence of humans but by their irresponsible presence.  “Wild” land was land that would wash away in the next rain.  “Quiet” land, by contrast, was land well cared for, loved and nurtured throughout the generations.  (pg. 308)

Doug Campbell, senior Yarralin aboriginal man:  The law they live by, say the Aboriginal people, resides in the land itself; it was not made by humans.  In this way it is different from the law of the Europeans.  “Whitefellow law goes this way, that way, all the time changing.  Blackfellow Law different.  It never changes.  Blackfellow Law hard – like a stone, like that hill.  The Law is in the ground.”  (pg. 309)

Whenever I would see him I used to tell Roger Ebert, only half kiddingly, that as long as he was alive I still had a film career.

He was a tireless promoter of Hoop Dreams.  In an effort led by him and Gene Siskel, the Chicago film critics awarded it “Best Film of the Year” in 1994, not best documentary, beating out Forest Gump, Pulp Fiction, and many others.  Along with our distribution company Fine Line Features, Ebert and Siskel spearheaded an effort to have AMPAS (the Oscars) nominate it as Best Film of the Year.  Then, when the film wasn’t nominated as Best Film or even as Best Documentary, they devoted two of their TV shows and many print columns in their respective newspapers to the outrage.  They talked about it on TV shows, in public appearances, at festivals, and in magazines wherever they went.

After Siskel died Ebert continued right on.  In a 1999 show with Martin Scorsese, he named it the “Best Film of the Decade.”  He took to calling it “the great American documentary.”  I believe part of why the film was recently selected by the US Library of Congress as a National Film Landmark, and chosen by members of the International Documentary Association as the “Best Documentary of all Time” was because of the attention he brought it. 

Roger truly loved the film.  Certainly, he had plenty of good reasons for going out of his way to support it.  It was a Chicago product and he was proud of his adopted city.  Our production company Kartemquin Films had been producing quality documentaries originating there since the mid-1960s.  Roger certainly knew them and their work.  The film also had the appeal of being an underdog story.  We were the little film crew that could, working with a minimal budget, a small “i” independent film, that came out of nowhere to take the country by storm, shot on video no less.  Roger liked underdog stories.  The film also highlighted the plight of low income, urban African-Americans.  Roger was married by that time to an African-American woman who might’ve played no small part in raising his awareness of African-American social issues.  But his own social conscience already ran deep.  That in itself may have been a decisive factor.   Certainly he had many good reasons to go out of his way to support our little film.  Not least of which is the fact that he simply believed it to be a great film.

But still I wonder if my long deceased father didn’t also figure in.  When I first met Roger in Sept. 1994 over dinner at the Toronto Film Festival I finally got to ask him about stories my Mom had told me for years.  “Roger used to toddle along after us following campus film screenings when we went to the campus Union for coffee and discussions,” she’d say. 

“Is it true what my Mom used to tell me about you and my Dad?” I asked.

“Who’s your Dad?” he said. 

“Werner Marx.” 

“You’re the son of Werner Marx?” 

“Yes. 

“Sit down.  I want to tell you a story.”

We sat.  Roger proceeded to tell me how my Dad helped him understand how much films could mean, effectively starting him down the road to becoming a film critic.  I had no idea.  He not only confirmed my mother’s stories, he detailed what an influence my father had been on his career. At that time in the early 1960s my Dad was an Assistant Professor of German at the University of Illinois, Urbana.  He also co-founded the university’s first film club – the Foreign Cinema Series.  Roger was an undergraduate student, attending his hometown school, “following his bliss” (as Joseph Campbell put it) by watching movies.

In many ways I followed in Roger’s footsteps.  I too went to my hometown university.  I too was profoundly impacted by the Foreign Cinema Club.  I too watched as many campus films as I could, eventually graduating with a major in film history, theory, and criticism - not offered in Roger’s day - having taken over 60 hours of film classes in over ten different university departments.  I still remember seeing Bergman’s Persona during the summer cinema series when I was only 15.  I walked out of Lincoln Hall stunned.  I had no clue what I had just witnessed, what the film had actually meant, but I knew I had been deeply and viscerally impacted.  To this day I return to that film again and again to absorb more of its profound mystery, beauty and horror.

Though he misremembered my Dad’s first name, Roger wrote about him in his book The Great Movies.  On page 253 he talks about the profound cipher that the film Last Year at Marienbad was for him.  (I don’t blame him.  For me, it’s one of the most inscrutable films ever made.)  Apparently, my Dad, in one of their post film, coffee fueled discussions, went on a tear positing the film as an illustration of Claude Levi-Strauss’ theories of anthropological archetypes.  Roger comments that he has no idea whether any of that was true; he never read Levi-Strauss.  But he goes on to say something lovely and true: The idea, I think, is that life is like this movie.  No matter how many theories you apply to it, life presses on indifferently to its own inscrutable ends.  The fun is in asking questions.  Answers are a form of defeat.  That rich observation reminds me of one of my favorite Vaclav Havel quotes: Run toward those asking questions.  Run away from those who say they have the answers.

Like Roger, I also wrote for the Daily Illini.  Though I was never editor like he was, I developed my craft at writing film reviews there, which quickly became my first career goal.  I can’t say that I wanted to be like Roger.  I can say that I was aware how he had built a career out of film criticism and that certainly struck me as a damn good life to have.

Years later, when I saw him at the Conference on World Affairs in Boulder and we spoke on panels together, or when he emailed me with an informal survey he was conducting about the future of film vs. video, I stupidly never picked his brain for further memories of my Dad.  He was one of the few living adults I knew who had known him.  Most had fallen out of my life, or died themselves, before I came of adult age.  Like many sons who lost their fathers too early, I thirsted for reflections of my Dad, never intuiting how much I needed it.  He was totally off my conscious radar while deeply inhabiting my unconscious.  I deeply regret never asking Roger to open up more fully on the subject of him. 

Following our Toronto meeting, I did send him a copy of the short documentary I made in graduate school about my Dad.  Maybe I never followed up.  Maybe I followed up and Roger never responded.  I don’t recall now.  But he never mentioned the film, even when we met in later years.  It’s entirely possible he didn’t like it.  Perhaps he felt uncomfortable in learning about my father’s political past.  Maybe it clouded or complicated his own warm memories of Dad.  I don’t know.  That not knowing is a sadness and a mystery for me.

It was a gift of an astonishing sort last March when I discovered two things Roger had written about Dad.  I found them while going through my mother’s belongings after she died.  Unbeknownst to my brother and sister and me, for almost 50 years she kept a bag full of letters she received following my Dad's death.  In that bag was a tribute article Roger had written in the Daily Illini commemorating him.  And among the almost 200 cards and letters was a hand-written letter from Roger to my Mom.  Both of these you can read below.

Life is so strange!  Odd mysteries, bewildering losses, unexpected gifts... all arrive with surprising fullness.  Full of admiration and warmth, Roger wrote movingly about what Dad meant to him.  In a perfect reminder of “spot it, you got it” – a maxim of my men’s work that reminds us that the qualities we admire in others are often those we ourselves carry – Roger celebrates my Dad’s most human values – his love of laughter and ideas, his devotion to teaching and service, his informality, spontaneity, and affectionate camaraderie.

It is another great sadness for me that Roger never got to see my most recent film Journey from Zanskar.  I believe he would’ve loved it.  Maybe he would’ve championed it.  Who knows?  Maybe he would’ve shown it at EbertFest – his eponymous film festival held at the Virginia Theater in Champaign where I myself used to watch many a blockbuster as a kid.  Maybe he would’ve seized on the story’s strange parallels to Hoop Dreams like another fine writer Pico Iyer did. 

 I haven’t yet seen Steve James’ film about Roger Life Itself.  I’m sure it’s wonderful.  For me, Roger’s death is mixed in with my Dad’s and my Mom’s.  Maybe the film will help me untie those mixed threads.  My fear is that it will somehow make it worse.

Like my Mom, like my Dad, Roger was a fine person who did what he could to show up and make a difference in the world.  He had much bigger venues for that than they did.  But he shared with them a love of moving images, of how art can shift culture, of appreciating a broad range of different people and ideas, of forming bonds over food and storytelling, of knowing attention paid to one person is as crucial as 100, of accepting humans in all their complexities and contradictions, of never forgetting the forgotten, of living life in its fullness… of life itself.   I miss him. 

As I reflect back on the last year, I am constantly reminded of the people who have been tremendous supporters of Warrior Films. Your continued interest and contributions have made a very direct impact in furthering our mission and goals. So I give thanks this week for you.  Warrior Films is about transformation – individual human transformation, transformation of families and communities, and transformation of society - and you make that possible.

We are proud of our 2014 successes.  We literally couldn’t have done them without you. Highlights include:

• Screening a brand new, digitally restored, HD print of Hoop Dreams at Sundance in honor of the 20^th anniversary. (Thank you UCLA film archive, this is a distinct improvement over our original Beta tapes!)
• Starting the filming of two “year in the life” stories of teens experiencing the transformational difference of initiation and mentorship. Both teens participated in Melissa Michaels’ amazing “Surfing the Creative” experience.
• Filming the REACH/World As It Could Be/Alameda County partnership rite of passage program for youth.
• Continuing to serve as fiscal sponsors and supporters of two outstanding mentorship/initiation organizations: Youth Passageways and Ever Forward Club.
• Writing the foreword for the wonderful book “Building a Better Man” and continuing to give lectures and speeches about initiation and mentorship like this one.
• Hiring a Community Partners Director to spearhead the social movement we're building by growing relationships with youth development organizations, schools, parents, and community groups.
• Finally getting Journey from Zanskar available on I-Tunes and Amazon. (With your help, it could soon be on Netflix as well. Call 866-716-0414 to request it.)

These successes demonstrate the power of human compassion to mobilize and catalyze change. Through film, stories, partnerships, education and mentorship Warrior Films is committed to serving an active role in educating, engaging, and empowering youth, families, and communities everywhere.

We hope you will support our latest project, Rites of Passage. This film fits beautifully with our mission, informing parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, politicians and others about rites of passage (ROP) work and the meaningful and positive impact they have on young people, their families, and their communities. This film resonates deeply for me; I myself was a troubled teen, unconsciously desperate for male mentors and for initiation, searching for answers in drugs and alcohol and reckless behavior.

Rites of Passage documents what positive rites of passage and mentorship programs can offer and clarifies their importance in the everyday lives of youth everywhere. Your continuing support will allow us to release a 6-10 minute version of the Rites of Passage film in January, along with a six-part curriculum to help direct our viewers’ action.

To fund the short film’s completion and release, we’re raising $30,000 by December 31^st. In addition to the film, the funds will enable us to complete toolkits designed for various end users (colleges and universities, high schools, youth development agencies, community groups, psychologists, therapists, counselors, and parents).

Help us make this film a reality by sending your tax-deductible donation to Warrior Films, 41 Fairmount Ave., Oakland, CA, 94611, or click here online.

Thank you for your commitment to support social change through social-profit filmmaking. Together we will truly Bear Witness and Create Change.

With love and gratitude,

Frederick Marx

Producer/Director

• P.S. ** Want to help spread the word? Our goal is to get 100 youth mentoring and rite of passage organizations to sign our project endorsement letter.  We already have 45 organizations!  If you and your organization would like to sign simply let us know and we'll add your names.  Contact Ishtar@warriorfilms.org.

As we reach that time when folks list their top ten films of the year, I'm eager to tell you something about a wonderful thing my friend Gareth Higgins is doing - it's a film festival-peacemaking-all singing, all dancing-extravaganza next May, and I think it's going to be amazing.  Here's Gareth to tell you about it:

"Movies and Meaning: A Dream Space is a new kind of festival for everyone who loves stories and light. (click here)

Part of the growing global movement for nonviolent transformation, Movies and Meaning is a long weekend away in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, featuring films, workshops, very special guests, dancing, magic and YOU.

From May 28th-31st, 2015, we’ll gather in Albuquerque, NM, building a temporary community dedicated to experiencing how the ideas and images we project can make everything better or worse, for ourselves, our communities, and the planet. We’ll watch some of the most transcendent films ever made - old and new - on a magnificent silver screen with fantastic sound. Films will be curated by Gareth Higgins, founding director of the Wild Goose Festival; most of the films will be surprises until we screen them, but we can tell you that the restored version of 2001: A Space Odyssey  will be screened in all its glory, as well as a special preview of an unreleased film.

We’ll participate in conversations at the intersection of contemplation and activism with the internationally renowned spiritual teacher Richard Rohr. We’ll explore how cinema can help increase or reduce real-world violence, take a field trip in the wonderful New Mexican landscape, honor local and indigenous traditions, and, because it’s not your typical film festival, every night we will DANCE. Our aim is nothing less than transcending the myth of redemptive violence. So we’ll create a dream space of new friends, extraordinary food, and the joy of story and light combining to create something we haven’t known before.

Want to be part of creating something amazing with this inaugural experience of bringing together lovers of cinema, life, and the pursuit of a better world? Then we want you to join us."

Tickets for the four day event are $299, BUT the first ten are available for only $99, and after they sell out, until December 24th they are discounted to $149.  More information and tickets available at www.moviesandmeaning.com.

Gareth again: "If you love cinema, life, and want to be part of a transformative community at the intersection of art and peace, we think this festival might just be your new home."

In appreciation of you and all of our wonderful supporters we're giving away our film Journey from Zanskar!  Thank you for all you've done to continue to make our work possible!

We also want to recognize the Dalai Lama’s upcoming 80^th birthday on July 6, 2015.  What a gift he continues to be for the world!   

You can stream the entire film online or download it for free by clicking here. The password is Save Zanskar.  Click here to watch the trailer.  But please do it soon! We’re only able to extend this offer for three weeks.  If you need a Spanish subtitled version click here.  The password is the same.

For the first time ever, we're also making my Director's Statement available to the public.  You'll find it attached.  When people see the film they invariably want to know what the experience of making it was like for me and the crew.  All the answers are there. 

Journey from Zanskar features the Dalai Lama himself and is narrated by Richard Gere.  The story concerns two monks who take 17 children from Zanskar to lower India in order to help preserve their dying Tibetan culture. The story is framed as one illustration of the monks’ ongoing commitment to fulfill their Boddhisattva vows.  We're inspired by them so we're doing our small part too!

The film has been released in theaters in the U.S. and France, and has played on TV in New Zealand. It received the Best Documentary award at the European Spiritual Film Festival in Paris and the Special Jury Award for Bridging Cultures from the Arizona International Film Festival.  Below is a small selection of some of the press acclaim it has received. You can also click here for further info and photos.

• Heartbreaking. Shines a light on a place and a way of life that are rapidly changing. NY Times

• Full of suspense, vivid dangers, strong personalities and energetic tots. Surprisingly entertaining pic… seems destined for a PBS or cable airing. Thankfully eschewing sentimentality. Ronnie Scheib, VARIETY.

• Unusual intelligence, common sense, and decency; it's the rare urgent-issue movie that refuses to pummel you with the importance of its subject matter. A quiet achievement. SLANT Magazine

• Extraordinary, remarkable. Village Voice

• Effective suspense and compassion. New York Magazine

• Emotionally affecting, spiritual. Spirituality & Practice

• Americans who have taken their educational system for granted will find Journey from Zanskar a sobering reminder of how lucky they are and how much they have at their fingertips. Huffington Post.

• The debates in this country about funding for education, charter schools and test scores seem like small potatoes indeed after watching "Journey From Zanskar." Cleveland Plain Dealer

• Wondrous… A perfect, and highly imaginative complement to Hoop Dreams… It seems certain to speak to millions. Pico Iyer, author: “The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama"

• Beautiful, powerful, and heart-warming… I hope the film will bring much needed assistance to the noble Zanskari people. Robert Thurman, Founder, Tibet House.

Again, you can stream the entire film online or download it for free by clicking here. The password is Save Zanskar. 

Our simple hope is that you will share the film with as many people as possible. If you require a DVD you can order one by clicking here. We have both NTSC and PAL formats. We also have a limited number of DVDs with French subtitles.  If you know a Buddhist or school organization that would love the film please let them know so they can download their free copy today.  If you are a Buddhist or school organization please feel free to screen the film for your sangha or students at any time.

We hope you will enjoy our labor of love and service. We are a small NGO based in the U.S. Our mission: “Through filmmaking and teaching, Warrior Films bears witness to social realities, inspiring citizens worldwide to create needed social change.” If you need further assistance please don’t hesitate to reach out: contact@warriorfilms.org. If you’d like to get on our mailing list click here. We’d love to hear who you're sharing it with and what they're saying.

Yours in service to the greater good,

Frederick Marx

We need a part-time Public Relations Director to do the tasks below.  The qualified candidate will have a minimum 3-5 years PR, advertising, and/or marketing experience, ideally at both local and national levels.  Though specific experience with film publicity, advertising, marketing, and outreach is helpful it is not required.  This is not a social marketing position.  It is about reaching the largest possible number of end users through the mainstream media. Diverse candidates are most welcome. This is an ideal position for a retired or semi-retired person.

Job to start ASAP.  Our hope is that it will last for 3-5 years, building in responsibility and pay, to eventually become a full-time job overseeing PR efforts for the entire company in all its different activities.  Candidates do NOT need to be located in the Bay Area.  He/she can work remotely with Director Marx.

Job Responsibilities

• ·      Bring the Youth Rites of Passage/Mentorship Movement to the attention of mainstream media at local, regional, and national levels.
  • o   to get the greatest possible number of people to watch the short film.
  • o   to get the greatest possible number of people to download and utilize the curricula.
  • o   to solicit screenings of the film at film festivals, conferences, and high profile events.
  • o   to secure paid and unpaid speaking opportunities for Frederick Marx to speak on issues related to youth rites of passage and mentorship.
  • o   to secure “to whom it may concern” project endorsement letters.
  • ·      Assist in publicizing other Warrior Films’ products, activities and efforts, including:
    • o   Journey from Zanskar (released 2009)
    • o   Boys to Men? (released 2003)
    • o   The Unspoken (released 1999)
    • o   The DocuMentoring Studio (ongoing)
    • o   our interns and volunteers program (ongoing)

Skills Required:

• ·      Good strategic and tactical thinker and planner.

• ·      Good with building relationships, on phone, in person, and via email.
  
  
• ·      Comfortable working with people and alone. Capable of being both self-directed and taking direction.
  
  
• ·      Good time management, writing, planning, and basic math skills.
  
  
• ·      Excellent computer skills across multiple programs.

• ·      Proven deal-maker: Ability to negotiate effectively and close partnership deals, always finding the win-win.

• ·      Highly self-motivated and able to work independently while delivering solid results and being accountable.

• ·      Professional self-presentation and demeanor.

Pay and Prerequisites:

• ·      Office Equipment and Expenses: Director must work predominantly from home, meeting E.D. Marx weekly by phone or in person.  Director will provide at his/her own expense computer and software tools, Internet service, unlimited phone and long distance service, and local Bay Area transportation necessary for fulfillment of all job responsibilities.  Company will reimburse Director for other out of pocket expenses including but not limited to non-local travel and creation and replication of marketing and film publicity tools, DVDs and cases, office supplies, stamps, mailers. 
• ·      Pay: $20 hour.  Max of 20 hours/week.  You must work as an independent contractor, paying state and federal taxes yourself.  Unfortunately, we do not offer benefits.  Along with bi-weekly invoices, you must submit a timesheet to account for how your hours have been spent.

TO APPLY FOR THE ABOVE POSITION, PLEASE SUBMIT:

1. A NON-GENERIC cover letter explaining your interest in working with our company, highlighting your qualifications for the desired position.

2. Email the above as an attachment and in the body of the email to: contact@warriorfilms.org

***please type “PR Director” in the subject field***

To learn more about Frederick Marx, Warrior Films, and Rites of Passage, please visit: http://www.warriorfilms.org/rites-of-passage/ and www.warriorfilms.org.

We look forward to hearing from you!

David Blumenkrantz is a personal friend and a pillar of this work called Rites of Passage.  I quoted him a few times in the ROP short film with a mere fraction of his indispensable contributions.  He specializes in helping communities create their own culturally appropriate, geographically specific ROP for young people.  My dream for many years has been to hire David and his team to train a cadre of facilitators to bring this work to communities everywhere.